Here is my constructive feedback on your creative writing piece:
Overall, this is an enjoyable and spooky short story with a lot of potential. With some polishing and development, especially of the climax and ending, it could be an even more potent tale of terror. The atmospheric setup and descriptive writing serve the piece well and the familiar but frightening scenario is executed with skill. With a few tweaks, this could be a scary story readers remember long after the final line.